Discovering the Way to Walk Out of Fear – Part Eight

 

Learn to Build Trust

 

Intimate relationships were also a struggle for me. Whether with my parents, siblings, or friends – I just never felt safe in my own skin. Most of the time, I could fake it and make others think I had everything under control. The only thing I really had under control was the massive amount of fear I allowed to come into my life on a daily basis. What’s so funny is it didn’t have to be that way -- I just didn’t know that at the time.

 

Have you ever heard the word “intimacy” defined as “into me see” -- that is so true. Real intimacy means allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with the ones we love -- of course, only the ones that have our best interest at heart. However, those of us who struggle with fear are usually afraid to let anyone get too close because we’re just sure they are going to see something ugly and reject us.

 

Early on, I had witnessed so much betrayal that I decided that most people couldn’t be trusted. Ironically, I blindly trusted everyone because I feared the repercussions if I didn’t. Fear warped my definition of trust so that when the truth came, I couldn’t recognize it.

 

Learn the Art of Communication

 

You know you really can’t have true communication unless there are at least two people contributing meaningful information. It’s amazing how many times I forfeited my equal opportunity in conversations and allowed them to slant in someone else’s favor. Fear so often motivated me to relinquish my opinion.

 

In my early dating years, a young man asked me to go out to dinner with him and we were going to join a married couple that we both knew. I was so excited because he had a flashy sports car. It was only a two-seater so I knew the other couple would have to take their four-door sedan and follow us to our destination. To my great disappointment, the other couple had what they thought was a better idea. They felt sure it would be more convenient if we all rode together in their roomy sedan. For fear of being tagged as a troublemaker, I never let my wishes be known and I never had another opportunity to speed down the highway in his shiny Jaguar.

 

Fear is a thief.

Fear tells lies to you and about you.

Fear causes you to miss some wonderful opportunities.

Learn to Respect, Honor, and Interact with Authority

One critical skill I thought I would never feel safe with was how to co-mingle with a person in authority. In hindsight, I can see now that I had a misguided view of authority. Authority is good when it is attached to someone who is looking out for your best interest. However, when it dictates your future in a way that brings harm to you or someone you love, then it’s wrong. Why do we allow people to bulldoze themselves into our lives when we know in our hearts their intent is wrong? Fear!

 

Several years ago, I got involved with a group of individuals that were supposed to be teaching others how to live life in a Christian manner. I had always leaned heavily toward spiritually enriching myself. So, when they entered my life, I anticipated taking one giant step forward. To my regret, the steps of increase could only be taken with their precise approval. I thought to myself, “Oh great! Once again, I’ve fallen into a deep hole.” I was too fearful to escape. I did learn, however, the difference in authority and control.